Q:   What is your area of specialization?

A:  I specialize in the treatment of behavioral and emotional disorders demonstrated by children and families. Primarily, this involves families with children that act out with severe behaviors. Normally, these behaviors range from lying, stealing, and manipulating, to setting fires and hurting others. Often times these children are diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder, however, they may also have been diagnosed as Oppositional-Defiant, Bi-Polar, ADHD, or even Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. I place heavy emphasis on the family because this is the center of the healing environment for this child, and also because the family is generally acting out an enormous amount of stress as well.

Q:   Is there a specific age that you work with?

A:  Obviously, due to the neurologic implications, the younger the child the better. However, I have worked with all ages of children and have had the same amount of success with teens as with younger children.

Q:    How can I know for sure whether my family could benefit from Intensive Family-Centered Regulatory Therapy?

A:  Unfortunately, there is no way to know for sure which particular therapy will benefit your family.  It would be unethical of me to make that kind of claim.  What I will say, however, is that I believe, of all the different types of therapy available, mine will offer your family the greatest opportunity for healing, in the most efficient period of time. Most families I have worked with have been through years of other therapies and have spent countless dollars. I believe that I have identified the root cause to dysfunctional behavior.  When my concepts are applied correctly and consistently, healing can begin in a very short period of time.  I strongly believe that the only time this therapy fails a family is when the parents become resistant to the healing path. As you may know, healing does not come easily. I do not work miracles. I work hard and the families I work with must work even harder to experience true healing.

Q:    Do you also use traditional therapy methods?  How many families have you worked with using Family-Centered Regulatory Therapy?

A:    I started as a traditional therapist.  I have worked with a couple of hundred families altogether.  I can honestly say that Family-Centered Regulatory Therapy has come at the expense of my spending a lot of time providing traditional therapy to families, and not being able to help them find true healing, until I discovered the Stress Model.  Since conceptualizing The Stress Model, I've seen a great deal of healing take place. You are welcome to speak with some of the families I have worked with who have offered to share their stories with other families. 

Q:    Were there any families that were unsuccessful?

A:    I believe that only a family can determine their own success or failure. If I fail with a family it’s because I failed to communicate effectively to them the soul of the message that all behavior arises from the neurophysiologic state of stress, and the emotion of fear, and it is through the fear that we can heal the hurt and diminish the behavior.

Q:  What is the difference between your Intensive Family-Centered Regulatory Therapy and some of the other intensive programs offered across the country?

A:    There is great variety in the approaches used in the various different intensive therapy programs. I choose to work in the family’s home rather than having them travel to me. My program is six months. Over the last couple of years I have been able to determine that it takes exactly six months of follow through for a family to move effectively into the path of healing. In this manner I’ve created a program to maintain my involvement throughout that phase. I place more emphasis on the whole family dynamics, and specifically, the parental dyad; while most approaches place their emphasis on the child and his behavior. My parenting recommendations for after the intensive will also be quite different from what you’ll find in other programs. The biggest difference is probably my theoretical foundation, which you can learn about in my writings on The Stress Model. There is also a significant difference in the level of follow-up support I provide after the intensive, which I feel is very important.

Q:    How long does the intensive last?  Will we need to take time off work or set aside a certain amount of time after the intensive to adjust to this new approach to parenting?

A:    The entire program is six months. An average initial phase lasts three days. 60-90 days later I will make a return follow up visit. This will allow the family time to implement the newly learned responses and strategies, in addition to processing what areas need to be addressed further. Throughout the rest of the time we will have constant phone and e-mail contact. Everyone will need to be home for the entire duration of the intensive. You may go on with life as usual afterward. I am not simply providing therapy, like your traditional once per week therapy. I’m providing you with a way of life. I will point out certain areas for you to be aware of in your daily life and several changes to make in your routine. I will also give you recommendations to assist in the school process.

Q:    Why do you do your work in the family's home rather than in your office?

A:    One day I was reading a book about the great hypnotist and psychiatrist, Milton Erickson, and it stated that he used to make home visits and how well his clients responded.  I thought that was the greatest thing - to actually confront the hurt of families in their own home.  How much more powerful could that be!  Families are welcome to come to my office if they choose, but I prefer to go to their homes.  It is less stressful and more cost- effective for the family, and it allows me to get a closer look at the "real" family.

Q:    Do you work with the extended family or just with the immediate family?

A:  I prefer to work only with the immediate family. The inclusion of the adult children is also very beneficial as well.

Q:    I understand that my stress affects my child, but you talk so much about the parents dysregulation, that it almost sounds like I am the cause of my child's problems, rather than the problems being caused by the trauma during the child's early life.  Am I misunderstanding this?

A:    It is correct that the cause of the dysregulation stems from the early trauma; however, the maintenance of regulation within the child's system is directly related to the state of the parents.  Simply having a child like this in their home causes the parents a great deal of stress.  If the parents remain dysregulated, then the child fails to receive a healing environment.  Therefore, the regulation of the parents must be addressed first, because this is the primary source of the child's healing, both in biological and adoptive situations.

 Q:   You stress the importance of working with the parents first.  What if my spouse and I don't have any significant issues to deal with?  Is this the wrong therapy for us?

A:    I will always focus on the family as a whole, starting with the parents.  The less parental issues there are, the more solid the foundation, and the more opportunity I have to focus on the child's past trauma and current stressors.  I will certainly explore every area your family has to offer, and we can also spend time on core parenting and day-to-day issues.  I feel that every family can benefit from my work, even those that aren't encountering any problems at all.  The understanding that you will receive can be of use in all areas of life, and you may be able to help others in need too.

Q:    Using "containment" in therapy sounds both difficult and invasive.  It seems much more suitable to working with a younger child.  I've heard you even work with adults using "containment."   It sounds especially awkward between adults.  Is it difficult at first?  Does it get easier?  How do most people respond to it? 

A:    The only time I recommend and utilize containment is during the actual therapy. I believe containment should only be done in the context of the family and in the immediate environment of the therapist. I do not instruct or encourage families to do holdings at home without their therapist. Containment or holding should never be controlling, punitive, aggressive, confrontational or harsh. One cannot overcome fear through force but only through love. In this manner all containment done in therapy is loving, encouraging, understanding, and accepting. Period. In fact, in most recent work I have began to redefine containment or holding in the manner which I conduct it as a ‘Dyadic Support Environment.’ I believe this is more accurate to the work I now do. I have experienced and practiced the gamut of treatment styles and it has taken much of my own inner work and acknowledgement as well as a dedication to healing and peace for me to make it back to this perspective. The only holding done in a family should be loving holding. If a parent is unable to calm their child without touching them, then they should not lay hands up on him. It’s much easier for holding to be forced upon a child because that buys into both the therapist and parents own fear about not being in control. The only time we seek to control is when we are afraid. Children should not be forced into holding. When a child does not feel threatened then he or she will never resist the loving arms of a parent.

Q:    Besides extreme rage, my child struggles with learning disabilities and has trouble getting along with friends.  Can your therapy help with these or other problems as well?

A:    Fear is the primary emotion. What we mistake as rage or anger is in fact at the root only fear. Nevertheless, for this question I will refer you back to the treatment protocol where I talk about the orbitofrontal cortex. This is the center of our learning and emotional-social development. This center is also highly affected by stress, so certainly when the stress is brought within regulation, all of the other areas will begin to improve. I believe that it is a developmentally corrective approach for children, and even for adults in some cases, if they remain open to the work. Primarily, because it addresses stress directly, the orbitofrontal cortex is most affected by stress. The orbitofrontal cortex is also the one area of the brain that remains open to change throughout the life span. Now that’s exciting!

Q:    What if my child is incorrectly diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)?  What if my child actually has Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Conduct Disorder, Bipolar Disorder or Attention Deficit Disorder?  Will the intensive be rendered useless to these or other types of brain dysfunction?  Do I need to be sure of my child's RAD diagnosis before attempting an intensive?

A:    I treat families not labels. It is not necessary to have a diagnosis of RAD.  I work with families with various types of behavioral concerns.  The most confusing aspect of mental health when it comes to parents, is the misinformation that they are given from misinformed, often times misled, physicians.  It has never been proven that Bipolar, ADHD, or any of the other disorders are a genetic condition.  Your child is being given a label for a behavior.

Q:    How does medication affect your type of therapy?  Would it be best if my child were off all medications during the intensive?

A:    It is not necessary to take your child off any medication prior to the intensive; however, it would greatly enhance the process by not having your child's natural expressions arrested by medication. I am not an advocate of psychotropic medication for children at any time. I know that healing can take place without medication. Most of the children I work with have had numerous medication changes.  This merely proves that the brain is remarkably powerful, and over an extended period of time, medication is rendered powerless over the effects of the brain.  During the intensive I will be accessing deeper brain release patterns, which are far more significant than the level that the medication is affecting.  Certainly, on the second day, it won't be necessary for your child to receive the medications.  Following the intensive, I recommend a medication evaluation by the child's psychiatrist.  By this time, I believe the family is generally ready to conquer their problems without the use of psychotropics.  Most families feel confident enough to do this after the intensive.

Q:    My hope is that my child can be off all medications once we address his problems through your Intensive Family-Centered Regulatory Therapy and Family-Centered Regulatory Parenting.  Am I being too optimistic?

A:    I certainly believe that you will be able to get your child off all medications.  You are not being too optimistic.  Maybe everyone else has just been too pessimistic.  I just tend to be realistic!  All of the data on medications is so suspect and so laden by research conducted by pharmaceutical companies, that parents and physicians are just not given a clear picture.  We live in a medication-driven society.  I recommend reading Peter R. Breggin, M.D.'s books to gain more insight into medications and their research.  

Q:    I understand that you teach how to deal with stress as it occurs.  What about stress that occurs when I am not with my child to address it?  Will my child be able to address it on his own?

A:    My entire approach and theory is ultimately geared towards your child being able to have the capacity for effective self-regulation.  I have seen wonderful regulatory progress made in as little as two days, but the ongoing capacity to regulate outside of parental presence is developmental and can only be determined by where your child is at now and at what level your child is already successfully functioning.  The level of functioning will increase by using Family-Centered Regulatory Parenting.

Q:    Will you teach me what to do if my child misbehaves in public?

A: I'll show you two things -- how to avoid misbehavior in public and what to do if it arises. You will also understand the causes of misbehavior and why it arises in public. A discipline program in the home does not assure success in public, but a stressed-out child at home will surely guarantee a misbehaving child in public.

 Q:  What type of follow-up support will we need after the intensive and how will that be provided?

A: I take my work very seriously and have a strong desire to see each family succeed in healing; therefore, I will provide a sufficient amount of follow-up e-mails and phone consults between the times of each visit. I’ll make a complete assessment during my time with your family and if I feel follow-up weekly therapy is necessary, I will work with your local therapist to provide this support.

 Q:   What changes should we expect to see immediately after the intensive, and then what gradual changes after that, and in what time frame?

A:    Immediately, you will see your child in a different light.  No longer will he seem so distant and rejecting, but more open to you and affectionate.  The outbursts should more than likely dissipate entirely during the first 30 days.  After about thirty days it would depend on your follow-through as parents.  If you continue to address his stress when it appears in his behavior, you will rarely, if ever, see another outburst.  Instead, you will see signs of frustration and hear statements of feelings.  You will feel stronger as a parent and more empowered to help your child with his emotions.  You and your spouse will experience closeness on a level that has not been felt in a long time, and the same will be true for other family members.  Most of this should be present by the last day of the intensive.  I work hard to establish a foundation for the parents to build on.  I will make several recommendations to you concerning your child.  I would predict that in six months you would be in a very good place as a family, and in a year you will be well into the healing process.  It's not miracle work.  Sometimes it seems like it because it's so powerful, but it is very hard work and requires follow-through and support.  I will actively provide the support.

 Final Word:      The bottom line is there are hundreds of different approaches to treating emotional and behavioral disruptions. On average the families I have worked with have tried other forms of therapy for an average of eight years before seeking out my service. Also, having spent sometimes $20,000 or more.  I encourage you to seek out the treatment which seems to fit your family and their needs. If and when you decide to work with me, be committed, prepared, and open to the healing process.

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