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Dear Bryan,
I take in foster/adopt children. I currently have 3 in guardianship, 2 in foster (process of adopting), and one niece. I have another who is 19 and out on his own. I am writing in regards to your book: The Great Behavior Breakdown. The children I am currently in process of adopting have had a VERY traumatic life and it’s been ongoing (according to the social worker).
The two children have been placed in 11 different homes, 2 were in process of adopting them. However the boy, 9, is a handful. He has a great amount of behavior issues in all ranges including verbal assault, physical assault, sexual issues and more. His sister has some minor issues, but is easy to handle. They both are very loving kids.
I recently was given your book to read by a counselor who counsels one of the other kids I have that is diagnosed with RAD. He thought it might help. I have found the ideas and tools you present are so helpful - I really thought I was not going to be able to handle the 9 year old boy. But I have incorporated the techniques and found they do work!!!
I was having a very challenging time one day when his social worker was coming. He would throw things, yell, run, and cry, break whatever was in his reach, and abuse the other kids and so on. The worst was he pulled the banister rail off. So here I go I read your book, thought “yeah right, you don't know what your talking about. This would never work, it's too easy (time consuming, but easy)”. So I continued to read, with thoughts of “that’s interesting but you don't know my kids”.
Then the day came and the social worker was on her way, I stressed, I knew what we were in for. Then I passed your book as I was on my way to the boy, 9. I stopped picked up the book and thought “what do I have to lose, another banister?” :-) Well it was amazing, I spoke with him about stress and how this makes him feel, he told me that the social worker causes him stress b/c she is the one who moves them to different homes. WOW!!! To make the story short the meeting went so well and I still have a banister. I spoke with the boy, we made plans to check in when feeling stressed. And he did. It was a changing moment for both of us. It was great to see the boy regulated and able to cope or use me to help him stay regulated.
I told the social worker and showed the book to her, she had other thoughts about what I was trying. She said the child was just using the moment for his own benefit. Well if so, I was OK with that b/c I had seen good results and a regulated child. We still have moments that regress to trauma, but I simply and calmly call him to sit with me. I have noticed that I am doing this less as we continue daily. It's working for our family. Thank you sooooo much for writing this book. It really has saved our family and a possible move for the boy; I was trying with every bone in my body not to give him up. I knew there was a great kid in there, I just needed to find him. — Sincerely, PA
Special back to school supplement every child can succeed
Dear Bryan,
Using Social Media IS THE BEST IDEA IN THE WORLD!!! You can reach so many people this way! I have posted your website on my facebook several times begging people to visit it and check it out!!!! AWESOME!!!! Debi Cantu
Our thanks to all of you for your comments, support and encouragement. — editor
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