Child Abuse Prevention Starts at Home

by bryanpost

Can we really prevent something which we do not fully understand? The definition for prevention is an action that stops something from happening: an action or actions taken to stop somebody from doing something or to stop something from happening. From that definition alone I think perhaps we need to either redefine our efforts or we need to look closer at what we are attempting to do. Removing a child from an abusive home or parent is not child abuse prevention. Placing a child into foster care is not child abuse prevention. Sending an at risk family to a counselor who in turn advises the parents to seek medication for the child or worse yet have the child removed, is not child abuse prevention. These actions can in fact be considered child abuse intervention, but prevention they are not.

So what is child abuse prevention?

Read the full article here.

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Questions & Answers — Sibling Rivalry or Unconscious Struggle to Survive?

Q. Dear Bryan— I have three adopted boys from Ethiopia - the fighting between them is unreal - they are 7, 10, and 10. The older boys have been home almost one year and the 7 year old has been home for four. We are still trying to give them the tools to "work things out on their own," teaching them to use words instead of hitting/kicking, etc. I don't feel like some of the advice from experts about leaving the room and letting them solve issues on their own is appropriate just yet as they don’t have those tools. We can't really leave them alone for long without a fight of some kind breaking out. The first six months were hairy and it is getting better - we have survived strictly on prayer. There are days when I think that this is just normal kids fighting and maybe I am being unrealistic and overreacting. Do you have any advise on helping kids get along? Thank you,
—Karen

A. Dear Karen— Yes, sibling rivalry can be vicious, terrible, and scary, especially when you combine this with adopted boys in the midst of testosterone-fueled development and from Ethiopia, no less. Why is Ethiopia a big deal? There has been violence ... Read the full response here.

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When You Take the Parent Out of Permanent

by pat o'brien
Executive Director, You Gotta Believe

There is lots of talk going around the country these days about Teen Permanency and about how urgent it is to get teens "permanency" before they age out of care. And of course we would jump on that bandwagon if only they were talking about getting the teens the parents they so desperately need before their discharge from foster care. However, a lot of things being sold as teen permanency have absolutely nothing to do with recruiting a forever lifetime parent who will be both unilaterally and unconditionally committed to them in the way that the other 98% of Americans whose childhoods did not touch the United States foster care system had. Each and every one of us whose childhood did not touch foster care can trace back our success as a person to our origins as members of a family; a membership that continues today no matter how old we are.

Here are the bill-of-goods that are being sold as “permanency” for teens: ... Read the full article here.

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Reader Mailbag

Save the Video

Dear Bryan, I learned about you through Heather Forbes (I am a dad) and her site. Plus, Bren Wolfe is an acquaintance and she speaks highly of you.

I have listened to a TON of Heather’s podcasts and interviews. And I have listed to many of your free downloads. Someone loaned me your four-DVD set about "attachment-challenged children." All of this to say that I have heard a lot from both you and Heather. And….Your 30-minute video that you posted a couple weeks ago is too good to remove from free access to families. Please reconsider your plans to remove access to it. It truly is a short, punchy distillation of you at your best, most passionate, in a fast paced presentation that delivers a truly usable paradigm that is of high value to viewers. The reason this could be important to YOU, is that people can get a very quick, illuminating exposure to you and your work. It could create interest in checking out your other resources. That 30-minute piece could be the very best give-away you have to create a relationship with a family.

For me personally, I want to have that video available to point families in my program to. I am producing hosting programs with Ukrainian orphans. The families who adopt through our program REALLY NEED what you and Heather are sharing! I would love to have your video available to be able to point families to it and say "Watch this as an example of what Bryan is sharing and providing to families!"

I just sent the link last Friday to a family for viewing. I think it is a good move for your organization.

I also thought Bryan’s decision to offer his book in e-book format in the aftermath of the Artom/Russian Return incident a few weeks ago said volumes about his personal commitment to families.

May God bless his and your efforts to serve former orphans and the families who are seeking to care for them! There is a transcendent economy that will provide for our needs when we freely give. May God multiply back to the Post Institute resources as you sow freely!

Thank you for offering your resources to families in need of sound advice based upon recent research!
David Avilla
Director
Advocate for Orphans International

Dear Mr. Avilla, Your request has been heard. The FREE 30 minute video is now a permanent part of the free stuff offerings on our site. See our home page right column for FREE 30 Minute Video on the From Fear to Love banner. We have had numerous requests to keep this live so it will remain so. —David

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